


Wrong Boy

by SailorYue



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aziraphale and Crowley are Warlock Dowling's Parents, Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Family, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Hastur Being an Asshole (Good Omens), No Beta, Raising the anti-christ, Two Fathers, We fall like Crowley, canon typical drinking, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorYue/pseuds/SailorYue
Summary: Crowley had the bright idea, and his plan should have gone off without a hitch: Steal the anti-Christ, raise him with Aziraphale to not destroy the world and prevent Armageddon. What could go wrong? Neither of them can foresee just how much can go wrong when you are attempting to save the world.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	1. Fathers? Well I'll be damned!

**Author's Note:**

> Fun little concept I've had, and I hope you enjoy my take on "raising the anti-christ"

The day had been a long one, there was quite a bit of worry on Aziraphale’s mind for that day. He had been keeping an eye out for trouble ever since dinner, looking over his shoulder for when a certain wily demon would make his presence known, either by showing up unannounced at the shop, or perhaps calling. He wasn’t sure which. But he had been anticipating something for the past five hours. He hadn’t even any idea what it was Gabriel had been worried about, the archangel was never really straightforward with his messages.

It was close to midnight when he finally got his answer.

There was a pounding on the side door of the shop. A rather persistent, impatient knock, very annoying. Who in the world could that be at this hour? Whoever it was was going to get an earful!

“I must say, what in heaven’s name is the meaning of...Crowley?”

“Quite the exact opposite, actually.” The demon shoved passed him, carrying what looked like a picnic basket.

Aziraphale shot the demon a look of confusion and irritation at how uncharacteristically rude his friend was.

“Crowley, what is the meaning of this, pounding on my door at this hour? A bit late for a picnic, don’t you think?”

“Not a picnic. I made a mistake, and I need your help, angel. This is pretty much the opposite of a picnic.” Crowley put the basket gingerly on the table in the center of the room.

The angel looked at the wicker basket, then at his friend’s face, the demon staring at the basket as if it would explode at any minute.

“Crowley, what...” He swallowed a lump that suddenly appeared in his throat, he fiddled at his ring. “What is in the basket?”

Crowley lifted one lid of the basket to reveal a sleeping blond haired baby, swathed in a powdered blue blanket. Aziraphale was stunned silent at the next word out of the demon’s mouth. “The anti-Christ.”

Out of anything in the entire universe, that was certainly the very last thing the angel had expected to hear. “The...anti-Christ.... as in....” He pointed downward.

“Son of Satan. The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of this...” He trailed off when Aziraphale waived his hand, indicating he got the point.

“And why, pray tell, did you bring the anti-Christ here? I thought he had to be raised by humans?”

“I don’t know, angel. I panicked. I took him to the church, told the nuns there where to take him, but then, I...ngk!” Crowley took off his sunglasses, and rubbed at his face. “Him being here means the end of the world, I thought perhaps if he was raised right it wouldn’t come to that. So I went back. Gave the Ambassador family back their kid when no one was looking, and took the anti-Christ.”

“Ambassador?”

“Yeah. Was going to be the son of an American Ambassador. Supposedly would have been the perfect way to breed the darkness in him.” Crowley sneered.

“And now what, Crowley? Who is to raise him? Find a pure religious family to raise him to be a good boy?” 

“No. I don’t know. Maybe....” Aziraphale stared in disbelief, between the basket that held the possible destruction of the world and his friend curled into himself. He waited for the demon to finish his sentence. “... maybe WE could raise him. Together.”

“Raise him... TOGETHER?” Aziraphale sat on the plush chair across from the couch Crowley sat, his legs no longer working.

“Yeah. We’d be his parents. Fathers, or mothers. Whichever. Doesn’t matter.”

“I just don’t know, Crowley. Raising the anti-christ? that doesn’t seem to be the best of ideas!”

“Well what other choice is there? Little bit of good, and little bit of evil, it’s a perfect balance if you think about it.”

“I AM thinking about it, my dear. And I must admit I am having reservations about this.”

“Angel, the only other option would be is to...” He gestured to the basket, not keen on finishing the sentence. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m not one to......” He really didn’t want to finish the thought, let alone the sentence.

Aziraphale paled, also not really one to do so. It was bad enough the amount of times he had to stand by to allow such things happen. He still wasn’t sure on the whole being the bringer of the end of the world’s parent. He stood up quickly, heading to a cabinet against the far all. “I think we need to discuss this a bit more before deciding on taking care of a child, my dear. I’ve got a few bottles I had been keeping for a special occasion.” And nothing says ‘special occasion’ more than the potential of adopting the son of Satan.

“But... I just don’t know, Crowley. I can’t just dis...diso..... not do what I’m told!”

“C’mon angel, I can’t do it on my own. Otherwise how will he turn out? Don’t you have to thwart evil’s wiles? ‘see a wile, you thwart it!’ Besides, what other alternative do we have?”

Aziraphale fiddled with his glass, finally deciding. “Fine. We’ll be his parents then.” He couldn’t help but smile fondly towards the sleeping infant in the basket nearby. “I’ll be damned.”

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” Crowley winked at him; the angel shot him a glare, not finding that funny in the slightest.

About an hour later they were still discussing what their next plan was to be.

“What would we even name him?” Aziraphale asked, haphazardly refilling his glass.

Crowley raised his glasses to stare hardly at the basket. He let out a breath, his lips fluttering in a razzing sound. “I ‘unno. The human family named him Warlock. Eh, or rather their kid that.”

“Warlock? How curious.” Aziraphale tapped his chin, eyes unfocused. “What about Anthony?”

“Nhngggg. Can’t call him that. S’my name!”

“Well, lots of children have their parent’s names. Nothing wrong with that.”

“We’re not calling him Anthony. Don’t want to get confused.”

Aziraphale shook his head, smiling softly. A small noise came from the basket, and the angel walked over to check on the child. Crowley watched as he checked on the child’s needs, miracling a bottle into existence, proceeding to feed the child. The demon watched enraptured by the scene. His eyes drifted to a marble bust on a stand behind the angel, of a familiar face. He was hit by inspiration. 

“How ‘bout William?”

“William?”

“Yeah. Like William Shakespeare. Smart lad, brilliant writer, even though he liked gloomy things.”

Aziraphale looked down at the infant in his arms. He smiled. “Alright, we’ll call him William. But what about his second name?”

“Nnnn, can we worry about that later, we still gotta figure how we’re going to do this.”

“Right. Can’t very well raise him smack in the middle of London. We need to go somewhere where neither of our sides can find him.” Aziraphale wasn’t going to immediately admit it, but he had very quickly fallen in love with the child while feeding him. Naming it was the final nail in the proverbial coffin. “Especially since as far as they know, the American Ambassador to London has the anti-Christ.”

“Yeah. We need to play on that assumption full on, make it seem as if everything is ‘according to the Great plan,’” Crowley pulled a wince at those words. “Figure we should send agents to be that boy’s godparents. Give the appearance that we’re striving for the endgame, when in fact we’re raising the real boy to be completely normal.”

“Do you really think this will work, my dear?”

The demon shrugged. “Don’t see why it wouldn’t, angel. We’ve lived by our arrangement for centuries, think of this as a part of that, eh?”

He had a good point there. “Alright. Let’s figure out where we will live, then. The further away from London we are, the better we would be at actually pulling this off.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything starts out nice, easy almost normal when raising the antichrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much will happen in this chapter, I'm sorry to say, but it does pick up on the next one sorry.

They had settled on a small village outside of the South Downs, on a small island called Hayling. The village was rather quaint, and the residents were nice. It was the perfect place to secretly raise the would be anti-Christ. They found a nice small cottage on about fifteen acres of land. 

It was well outside of London, and it didn’t take long to set up the house with small touches from their own homes: Aziraphale bringing in plenty of books from his shop which, considering it’s very odd hours no one would ever be able to tell he had left. Crowley moved most of his well behaved plants. It was rather nice, each of them having their own rooms, including the baby. 

They seemed to have things all planned out. Even with what everyone had thought was the anti-Christ, with how they had each hired agents to raise the boy to be more of their own sides. It was very much like an actual family, as close to an actual family could be, what with an angel and a demon being the parents of the one person who will one day gain the powers to end all existence.

It was a team effort, and both felt more or less free to do what they want, within reason, when raising the child. Crowley didn’t even try very hard with the whole evil thing, there was no real pressure because, as far as hell knew he WAS trying really hard with Warlock Dowling. Similarly Aziraphale felt more or less free, for a lot of the same reasons. As far as heaven knew, he was attempting to teach the anti-Christ kindness and generosity. Well, he was... just not who they thought. 

Any time the demon looked at the infant in Aziraphale’s arms, he couldn’t help but feel stronger about things more than he had in the past 6000 years. It was strange. He wished it could last forever, beyond the eleven year deadline.

Likewise any time Aziraphale looked at Crowley teaching William to walk, or to speak, he felt that same rush of warmth. Of love, as strong as the first time he realized what he was feeling back in 1941. It was such a powerful feeling, something he wished could last far beyond their eleven year deadline.

They took turns between tasks while raising the child, and some parts were harder than others. Crowley was grateful that the boy’s powers were inactive during teething, though the bite of a one year old was as strong as a hell-hound puppy’s. And given the last thing a temper tantrum of a two year old needed was the powers of hell. Still though, neither of them could expect how hard it was to take care of a child. And neither would give it up. It was an adventure, and while some parts were difficult, watching the boy William grow was something neither of them would give up.

Both of them had agreed, that neither of them would use any miracles. They wanted to raise the boy as normal as possible. Gabriel had commended Aziraphale at how much he had cut back on his ‘frivolous miracles’ during one of the times that Aziraphale had given a report on the progress of raising Warlock Dowling. The angel only gave a nervous smile at that, not entirely sure what to say to the compliment. He knew that heaven had felt that his little experiment was doomed to fail, and all he could do was just smile and nod. He could not wait to see the bright blue eyes of the 3 year old returning from the daycare they had left him at in South Hayling. 

Down in hell, Crowley was giving his own report on the progress of the Dowling boy, stating how magnificently evil he was becoming; a right little hell raiser in his own rights. Ligur had asked whether the boy had killed anyone, and it was a question the demon had not expected. He shook off the worry though, eager to get out of this meeting as soon as possible. It’s not that he didn’t trust the humans watching over William, its just that he didn’t trust humans to care for William the way he wanted. He told the counsel in hell that the boy was only three, and to give it time. There will be plenty of time for the coming apocalypse for the boy to kill anyone, right?

Thankfully the meetings adjourned and both Aziraphale and Crowley rode their escalators to the main lobby of the Gateway Tower. If it wasn’t something that would arouse suspicion, both would have sprint down their stairs, but... they had to pretend, they had to give the illusion that there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. But one thing that was for sure, the angel did not complain about his friend speeding ninety miles per hour through central London, as they headed due south towards their home.

The years passed, as time does move forward, and William the Anti-Christ’s childhood was as normal as it could be, though he could barely want for anything. Aziraphale provided a strong education, always reading to him, teaching him about some of his favorite authors, although he did try to keep the books at the boy’s reading level. Crowley found himself watching this from the other room, and would watch for hours if it was possible. He loved how much the angel smiled at all the best parts. It was almost as entrancing as watching him eat his favorite dessert at the Ritz. He shot a quick glance to the ceiling, knowing it was not something that could last forever, but still he would be remiss if he didn’t wish it would.

One of the moments that hit the two eternal beings the hardest, was when William had called them ‘papa,’ for Aziraphale and ‘dada’ for Crowley. They were his first words, and it was then that they both agreed, that they would try without fail, to prevent the oncoming apocalypse. It was a funny thing, that under normal circumstances that they would be ‘enemies,’ though that was really just for show than anything. They shared a common goal, and neither would realize that by the end of this, they would be closer to each other than ever. 

One night, he found Aziraphale reading a bedtime story to the boy. He was still quite young, just over five. He was full of such curiosity, and was always willing to listen to the both of them. He watched as Aziraphale brushed a lock of hair off William’s cheek before tucking his blanket around him. 

“Good-night, dear boy.” Aziraphale whispered softly, turning off the light and heading towards the door, where Crowley had stood.

“He’s growing up so fast, isn’t he?” 

“Indeed. His seventh birthday is coming up in a few days.” They both look at the now closed bedroom door. “We will win, Crowley.”

Crowley couldn’t help but smile. He loved the angel’s optimism. “You really think so?” 

Aziraphale continued to stare at the door. “I.... well I certainly believe we will. Otherwise...” He didn’t finish his thought, neither of them wanting to think about failing. 

They headed to their own rooms. Crowley would have loved it if they slept in the same room, but considering the angel was never one for sleep, often spending hours in his study with his books, and planning lessons for William for the next week, Crowley would never get any sleep. Not that he needed.

But still, Crowley yearned for a time where the angel would be comfortable enough to share a room. He never pushed the subject, understanding that Aziraphale just needed time. He’d give him all the time he needed. The angel began to close the door to his study, giving him a tired smile.

“Sleep well, my dear.”

“Good-night, angel.” He muttered softly, before closing his own door.


	3. Truth and lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William learns about telling the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortish but soft chapter, hope you enjoy!

Not only was William turning out to be very intelligent, through Aziraphale’s tutelage, he was turning out to be quite the gardener thanks to Crowley.

In the past Crowley would exceed his ire on the plants that misbehaved, the ones that dared to wilt or allow brown spots show on their leaves. But ever since taking care of of the anti-Christ child, he has learned to channel that into firm scolding, and only taking it out on the offending leaf instead of the offending plant. It still worked just as well. William seemed to have a knack for gardening, even adapting the demon’s firm hand. He was very proud. 

After William had turned eight, he learned a rather important lesson, one about truth, and when it is okay to lie. 

It had started like any ordinary day, some time late in August.

“Crowley, dear? Have you seen my mug?”

“Which one, angel?” The demon had started to clean up from breakfast. He was wearing a dark grey long sleeved dress, enjoying the cooler weather for the late August day.

“The one with the wings for the handle?”

“Oh, that one I got you ffffew years ago?” Crowley nearly said forty years, as that was about when he had gotten Aziraphale the novelty angel mug. It was as thanks for the flask of holy water. He hadn’t realized however it was the very same one, as the mug isn’t very uncommon to come by.

“Yes.” Aziraphale looked around in the other cabinets, as if perchance it had just been misplaced. “It’s my favorite mug, and I was hoping to have some hot cocoa with my reading.”

While the two of them were talking, William had gotten up quietly from his seat, picking up his dishes rather carefully, something that did not go unnoticed. 

“I’m not sure, angel. It can’t have gone far, mugs don’t just get up and fly away.” He handed the angel a novelty Golden Girls mug. “Use mine for now.”

“Thank you, my dear.” Aziraphale went to brewing up his hot cocoa. 

William had started quietly to head to his room, and Crowley noted that the boy was still unusually quiet. He had a suspicion as to why.

“William, can you come help me in the garden?”

“Oh, sure dad.” He grabbed his sweatshirt and followed Crowley outside. 

Crowley pulled his hair up into a long ponytail. While he liked having it long, it often got in the way when he was gardening, or in this case, parenting. 

“Come over here first, William. I’d like to chat real quick.” Crowley sat down on the grass, patting the spot next to him. 

“What’s up, dad?”

“Is there anything that you want to talk about?”

William sat for a minute thinking, before shaking his head no. “No, don’t think so.”

“No? Not even about papa’s mug?”

It was at that that the boy went quiet. He looked down, idly picking at the grass.

“William, you know how we feel about lying.” 

“Yes, dad.” William nodded. 

“And have we ever given any reason for there to be secrets?”

William kept his gaze downward. “No...”

Crowley gently placed his hand on his shoulder. “Then... can you please tell me what happened?”

William sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “I broke it. It fell out of the cabinet when I was getting my own cup.”

“I see. So why didn’t you tell us?”

William shrugged. “I dunno, I was scared.”

“Scared? Of what?” Crowley was genuinely clueless as to why the boy would be scared. They never raised their voices to him. They wanted nothing but the best for him, and even their discipline was not what humans would normally call discipline.

“I didn’t want papa to be mad. It’s his favorite cup. I know I get mad when other kids mess with my favorite things.”

Crowley nodded understandingly. “So you thought it would be better to hide it?”

William nodded, pulling his knees to his chest.

They sat in silence for a moment. “William.”

“Yes?”

“Did you break the mug on purpose, or with any malicious intent?”

The child shook his head fervently. “No! It was an accident, I swear!”

“Then papa won’t be mad. Accidents happen, dear heart. He’ll understand, especially if you are honest about what happened.”

William sniffled, rubbing the tears that had spilled out of his eyes. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I’ve known him longer than you can imagine. While he can have a temper on some things, he won’t on this. Now, come here and let me dry those tears.” Crowley pulled his son into his lap, hugging him tight, running a hand up and down his back until the tears stopped. Then they just sat there watching the wind roll over the garden. He wished quiet moments like this would last forever. “Sometimes it’s best to be honest. There is only very rare moments when it is okay to lie.”

“When’s that?” 

Crowley thought a moment, wanting to think of the best way to phrase his answer. The first thought of course went to when Aziraphale lied to God about the whereabouts of his flaming sword. He chuckled to himself at that. 

“Hmm. Well you definitely should try to be honest to those you l....” His voice caught on the word. He cleared his throat quickly. “Care for. I think the best time is if there is honestly no choice. Or if the truth would hurt the person you care for more than not.”

William made a small noise, his tears having fully stopped. He laid his head against Crowley’s chest, He sighed.

“So... what did you do with the mug after it broke?”

William pointed to a less than healthy looking patch of sunflowers. They weren’t too bad looking like some of the other rebellious plants, but they weren’t as healthy looking as the other surrounding sunflowers.

“I buried it when I realized I couldn’t fix it.”

...

Crowley did not know what to expect when William dug up the mug. He had given a good effort in his attempt to repair the cup, the biggest damage having been on the wings. A good chunk of one wing was missing, along the crest and part of the tip, and the other one, the pieces were half upside down. All in all, it was a valiant try for an eight year old.

They entered the cottage, William holding the mug close to him. Crowley squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

“Angel, can you come down to the kitchen?”

“Yes, my dear. One moment please.” Aziraphale entered the kitchen and looked at the two of them standing by the door with a smile. “What’s going on here?”

“William has something he would like to tell you.” Crowley gently pushed the boy forward. 

William held out the broken mug. “I... I’m sorry, papa. I broke your favorite cup.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale knelt down to be at eye level of his son. “Let me see.” He took the mug and looked it over, a slight frown on his face as he glanced over the cracks and chips. “I see. Well I’m glad to have it back, I was quite worried it had just up and vanished. Thank you for returning it to me, my dear.” The angel smiled at William. “But I must ask, why didn’t you tell me about it when it got broken?”

The boy shuffled his feet nervously, looking up at Crowley, who gave him a reassuring smile. “I wanted to try to fix it first. It didn’t go like I wanted. I’m sorry it got dirty.”

Aziraphale cupped his cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped. “That’s alright, my dear. Thank you for being so honest with me. Even though I won’t be able to use it anymore, it now has a new reason to be my favorite mug.” William returned his smile, and hugged Aziraphale, who returned the hug rather haphazardly given the awkward position. “There, there. Now, run along to your room.”

“Okay!” The boy ran up to his room, with a smile.

Aziraphale stood up, looking more over his mug. 

“Such a shame, it was a nice mug.”

“Hmm. You can fix it, you know.”

“Yes, well... I have plenty of extra mugs back in Soho, and this one, well... he certainly tried, didn’t he?”

“N... yeah, he did. What are you going to do with it?”

Aziraphale looked down at the fractured cup, as if it was the most important treasure in the world. “Put it in my study, as a reminder of what is important.” He looked up at Crowley with unshed tears in his eyes.

“Like you said, angel. We will win. This, it will work." It has to, was the unspoken thought.

Aziraphale nodded; he truly wanted to believe that. Even so, he could not help but have even the smallest of doubts, given how the other angels in heaven were acting about how having good try to influence the anti-christ (or whom they thought was the anti-Christ) would most likely fail. But to be perfectly honest, aside from God, there was one other person he had the utmost faith in, and that was Crowley. If his friend was sure this would work, he would be sure on that as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of already written work, so please keep commenting so I can keep writing!


	4. Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the anti-Christ's birthday, and the Angel and demon thought they were prepared. How wrong they ended up being?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my cat has babies and had to take the tom get fixed.

Time moves much differently for immortal beings from the dawn of time, it was rather easy to lose track of the time, and a mere eleven years can go by much faster than they can even realize. And now it was the eve of William the Anti-Christ’s birthday.

Both Aziraphale and Crowley were on edge, sitting across from each other at a table in the angel’s study. As far as they could tell, everything was going as planned. Neither heaven nor hell were aware of the ruse they had pulled on them. As far as THEY knew the Dowling child was hell’s master, ready to come into his powers in less than a day. 

“So the hell-hound is due to show up around three tomorrow, right?”

“Yup. Supposed to be the biggest and meanest of the newest litter, bred specifically for the boy.” Crowley scowled into his glass. “it’s supposed to be there by his side, to protect him and all that.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Yeah, he’s supposed to name it, and whatever he names it, it becomes. Stalks-by-night, Throat-ripper, anything like that. But if we did this right, he should just send it off with no name.”

“And if he DOES name it?”

“Eh, well, you know.” Crowley frowned, decidedly not looking at his friend. He waved his hand about, “At that point there would be nothing we can do. It would all be over.”

Neither them liked that thought, and neither of them saw any other way to ensure the prevention of the end of the world. They decided very long ago, that even the most extreme alternative to their plan was out of the question. All they can do now, is just to wait and see.

...

They had decided to have a fun time, despite the fear of things to come. It was a birthday, and it’s not every day you turn eleven. And even though Aziraphale’s idea to celebrate at home. wasn’t necessarily a bad one, there could have been load’s they could have done on their little plot of land, Crowley had thought it would have been better to be away from their home, lest the wrong people follow the hell hound and realize the ruse. He had thought it would be safer at the amusement park. They could easier watch out for a large hellish beast. Plus considering that it was late August, it was cooler in climate so there wasn’t that many people at the park either. Less of a chance of something going wrong; or at least that was the demon’s thought.

And so they waited, and it was a rather fun time, they made sure that William enjoyed his eleventh birthday. They had always kept an eye out, all throughout his life even, for any signs of reality-altering powers, and though they had never SEEN any outward obvious signs of any thing of the sort, they could still show up at any point. 

Or so they thought. 

Three o’clock came. And went... By 3:30, they both had realized something must be wrong. And the only way for them to find out, was for Crowley to contact hell, which was not something he could do with Aziraphale and William in the car, so on the way home they stopped for some ice cream. The demon watched as the two of them went to the back of the line to purchase their treats, and fiddled with the radio until Freddie Mercury’s voice switched from singing ‘Under Pressure,’ To a speaking voice to one of the demon’s down in hell. 

“Hello Crowley.”

“Um. Hi. Who’s this?” Crowley asked, eyes drawn out the window to Aziraphale and William waiting in line for ice cream.

“Dagon. Lord of the Files. Master of Torments.”

“Yeah. Just checking in about the hell-hound...

“He was released over a half hour ago. He should be with you by now. Why? Has something gone wrong, Crowley?”

Crowley’s heart started pounding. “Wrong? No... Nothing’s wrong. What could be wrong? Oh, there it is, I can see it now. What a lovely, big, helly hell-hound. Yep. Great talking to you.”

He quickly turned the radio off, then sagged into the seat, head banging into the headrest. He ran a hand through his hair, sorely tempted to rip it out in a mixture of frustration and fear. He looked back out the window and saw that Aziraphale and William were enjoying their ice creams. Aziraphale had opted for a vanilla cone with a flake, while William went with a cookies and cream type cone. 

He caught the angel’s attention. He mouthed ‘No dog?’ to which Aziraphale looked casually around the area, then shook his head in response, mouthing ‘no dog’ in return. Crowley turned his head to look at the young boy they had just spent the past eleven years raising, watching as William licked the dripping ice cream from the back of his hand. Crowley looked back at the angel, who seemed to no longer be interested in his vanilla flake. He mouthed the question that had been sitting on both ethereal being’s minds. ‘Wrong boy?’ To which Crowley nodded, fear settling in his stomach. ‘Wrong boy.’

...

It was later in the afternoon, Aziraphale and Crowley sat in Aziraphale’s room, trying to brain storm how everything could have gone wrong with their plan.

“Why did hell have to pin this on me. Why did I have to be the one for this ‘Great plan.’” Crowley stared at his empty glass, his mind trying to figure just where and how it went wrong.

“Well, I suppose it could have something to do all of those memos you kept sending them. Telling them how you invented the Spanish Inquisition and World War II.” Aziraphale refilled their drinks.

“And it’s my fault that they don’t check up!? That’s on me??” Crowley tore off his glasses, dropping them on table in frustration, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “And now we have to figure this all out in who knows how much time.” 

“I thought you had taken the anti-Christ that night? How did you end up with the wrong child?”

“I don’t know, angel! I left, I went back, I took the Dowling child leaving them with the child I THOUGHT was their real child. Something obviously went wrong while I......” Crowley’s voice trailed off as his attention was drawn to the bedroom door. Aziraphale turned to see what had distracted his friend.

“Oh! Oh dear.” Standing in the door was William. 

Crowley felt a pit in his stomach at the look on the young boy’s face, for a different reason than the fear he had been feeling moments before. “How...uhngk...how much did you hear?”

William sniffled, shrugging. Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other, not sure how to proceed. He had obviously heard enough, and more than they had ever wanted him to hear. The angel stood up, and pulled out a chair so that the eleven year old could sit with them. “Come here, my dear. It appears we have some things we need to talk about.”

Aziraphale got up and made some hot cocoa for him and William, and a cup of tea for Crowley. Meanwhile, Crowley pulled out one of the angel’s secret stashes of biscuits. This was a special circumstance, so he got out the ones with the pink frosting on them. 

“So, my dear. I am certain you have some questions. Why don’t you tell us what is on your mind?”

William, opted to sit in Crowley’s lap instead of the chair, rubbing at the tears that had streamed down his cheek. He shrugged, not sure what to make of he had heard. “I ‘unno. What did you mean that I’m the wrong child? Am I not supposed to be here?”

“Uhhh, well....” Crowley cleared his throat, trying to think of the best way to answer his question. “It’s not that, darling. Not at all. It’s just.....” 

In that moment both Aziraphale and Crowley wished they could communicate telepathically. It would make explaining everything easier. 

The angel sighed. “My dear, I think it would be much easier to explain this if we tell him everything.”

“You mean...” Crowley gestured vaguely between them.

“Yes. I believe, given the circumstances, he deserves to know the truth about his parents.”

...

It took some time to explain everything, and though the two of them did not go into extensive detail, they did explain everything they could. William seemed to understand enough, he WAS raised the two of them. He was quite entranced by Crowley’s serpentine eyes. In his entire life he actually never saw them clearly, considering his dad was always wearing some sort of sunglasses. At most he could see a peek of their color. It was actually pretty cool, having one parent as an angel and the other a demon.

“So, if I was this anti-Christ person, right now I would be trying to destroy the world?”

“Eh, more or less yeah.” Crowley twirled his spoon idly between his fingers.

“And if I were trying to destroy the world, then what would you do? That can’t be good, how can you stay by someone trying to ruin something you love.” William crumbled the cookie in his hands, still feeling confused on some things.

Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other, both of them immediately catching the tone of his voice.

“My dear boy, there is nothing you could do could stop us from loving you. If it had come to it, we would try to perhaps talk you out of it. No matter what our respective sides say or want, we would stay by your side.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Crowley said with a tone of finality. “Nothing you can do would make us not love you. Even if it brings on Armageddon." The demon cupped a hand on the boy's cheek. "You may not have been the boy I meant to take eleven years ago, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are our son. And neither heaven nor hell can take that away from us.” 

William smiled. Thinking on it, he didn’t know why he was so worried, all in all it was just confusing. “I love you dad. Love you papa.”

“And we love you, my dear.” Aziraphale ruffled the boy’s hair. Crowley however had gone very still, sniffing at the air. “Crowley?”

“Something’s changed.” He licked his lips. Realization dawned on him on just what. “He’s done it. He’s named the hell-hound.”

“Hell-hound?” William asked curiously.

“Are you sure?”

“Would I lie to you?” 

“Well you are a demon, it’s in your nature.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t lie about this.”

“What’s wrong, dad?” Warlock asked, still not following what was going on.

“Armageddon.” Crowley answered.

“Welcome to the end times.” 

Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other before looking at the boy between them. One thing was for certain: They HAD to find a way to prevent things from proceeding. No question about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I am officially out of finished chapters, my schedule is changing so idk if/when I'm gonna have to e to write.... Keep me motivated by please letting me know what you enjoyed!
> 
> If I am missing a tag you want added, let me know and I will add it!
> 
> I don't always reply to your comments, but I appreciate every one! Feel free to tell me what you liked, it keeps me motivated to write!!!
> 
> I am always open for fanart, response fics, pod fics and translations! Just please make sure to link to me and send them to me! 
> 
> My twitter and tumblr is sailoryue, my Instagram is supersailoryue. Come see my doodles!


	5. The book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The small family travels back to Tadfield in hopes to find the anti-Christ... However they find something else all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to upload this yesterday, but just have been busy.

“Why don’t you go back to the hospital I was born at?” William asked, taking a bite out of a cookie. There had been quite a lot to take in in such a short time, and now there was a lot to do in a short amount of time. Luckily for Aziraphale and Crowley, they had raised the boy to be quite clever. Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other, and then began to plan their trip. Time was of the essence, wasn't it?

The following day they made a family road trip about it, traveling to Tadfield which was located in Oxfordshire. It wasn’t that far away from Hayling, but it was still a bit of a trip in itself. Aziraphale made sure to bring plenty of snacks with them, including a tartan print tin filled with biscuits. There was never not an occasion for biscuits, as far as the angel was concerned. They left after lunch, after Crowley and William had checked on the garden before leaving. Gardening was such a good stress reliever for the demon, even though he had changed his old method of of threatening and shouting, it was still a soothing distraction from the mounting stress that he had begun to feel as of yesterday. Especially when the two of them worked together to eliminate pests that dare to harm their plants. It was certainly one of the few things in life that he would always cherish.

Since the trip was a rather long one, William and Aziraphale talked about the book the boy had been reading. Much like the principality, the boy had taken a shine to the works of Oscar Wilde, something that Aziraphale had loved. Finally someone else to talk about one of his favorite authors. Of course he always had to be mindful to make sure to talk in the past tense, and not make it seem like he knew the author personally, even though he did, and really he just couldn't help sometimes with his gushing. It wasn’t too much longer, though certainly long enough as Crowley tended to drive closer to the speed limit if still a bit over when William was a passenger, until they arrived at the old Tadfield Manor.

William wasn’t entirely sure what happened within the church, as he had stayed in the Bentley reading while his parents went to investigate on where any other boys who had the same birthday as he did could be. The only thing that pulled him from the story he had been reading was the sudden appearance of the sound of gunfire? And a lot of it too, from what it sounded like. It was a lot like an American western movie he had watched with papa a few months ago. He went back to his book though when none of it came near dad’s car. The boy hadn’t had to wait long for them to return, as less than half an hour later both doors opened and Aziraphale and Crowley climbed in. He place his bookmark in his book and set it on the seat next to him.

“So, did you find out who else has my birthday?” He asked, leaning forward in his seat between his parents.

Crowley frowned, suppressing the sneer that tried to fight out. He did not want to take his anger at a certain frog demon out on the boy.

Aziraphale looked worriedly at his companion before looking at the boy. “Unfortunately not, my dear. Apparently they had suffered a terrible fire that night and all of their records had been destroyed.”

“Oh. That sucks.” William sat back, not noticing the slight frown on the angel’s face at his choice of language while he buckled his seat-belt.

“You can say that again.” The red-head snorted as he started the car, slowly making their way through the police blockade that had showed up. “Now we’re back to square one.”

“Indeed.” Aziraphale replied, buckling his own belt, not that he needed it. But it was always wise to set a good example.

...

It had gotten late as the small family headed towards their little home, driving through the woods that surrounded Tadfield, after stopping for a quick meal in a small restaurant in town. Aziraphale and Crowley talked quietly about their next course of action on trying to find the missing anti-Christ. The sun had just begun to set, and William, had started to asleep in the back seat, head resting on the window. His nap, however, was cut short when something hit the Bentley, causing the demon to slam on the breaks. He wasn’t sure what had happened. His parents had climbed out to investigate. He was startled by the strange appearance of a bright light that promptly vanished. He wasn't sure what to make of it, until the door opened and a young woman climbed in next to him.

“Oh, hello.” She said quietly, giving a smile that seemed to hold relief in it. 

"Hi."

“My name’s Anathema.”

“I’m William.” He said with a sleepy smile. “Dad? Papa? What’s going on?” 

“Nothing to worry about, my dear. Just a little accident, but no one is hurt.” 

“That’s good.” He shifted his blanket around his lap. 

“So, where to miss?” Crowley started the car. 

“Follow this road into town.” Anathema said pointing down the hill they had been traveling. 

It wasn’t long before William fell back asleep as they traveled into Tadfield, his blanket slipping off his lap all together, not that he had needed it, the car was always the perfect temperature. Aziraphale and Crowley dropped off the young girl, who had been perplexed as she was certain that during the trip her bike magically obtained gears, but now didn’t. She waved the odd couple off, not sure what to think of the pair and their son. 

...

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, as the small family made their way home. 

“William, my dear, we’re home.” Aziraphale unbuckled his seat-belt. He peered over his seat when there was no answer. “William?” He smiled softly when he realized why the child had not answered. “Oh! Well, look at that Crowley.”

Crowley couldn’t help the small smile peeking out, no matter how much he fought it. “Ah, well. It has been a long day.”

“Let’s get him into bed.” Aziraphale reached for the blanket and tin, then frowned when he realized there was something else. “Hang on, there’s an extra book here.”

“How do you mean?”

“It must belong to that girl.” Aziraphale pulled out the rather large green tome that had been covered partly by the blanket. His breath caught at the sight of the title. It couldn’t be.... 

“Well I suppose we could just mail it to Tadfield. Address it to the mad American woman with the bicycle.” When Aziraphale hadn’t responded, Crowley furrowed his eyebrows. “You alright, angel?”

Aziraphale snapped out of the trance he had gotten into. “Hmm? Yes, fine. Absolutely tickety-boo!’

“’Tickety-boo?’” What on earth was going on with him?

“Can you take care of William for me, dear? I have to go look something up right quick, wont be long.” The demon nodded, muttering under his breath that it would be fine. “Thank you. Mind how you go!” 

Crowley frowned as he watched his friend rush into the house, presumably to his study. He scratched the back of his head. It was far from the strangest he had seen the angel. Still though it was certainly odd. “Right. Well that was a thing.”

He carefully scooped the slumbering boy into his arms, being mindful to make sure not to hit his head when pulling him out of the car. He looked down at the peaceful look on his face as in his sleep he had nuzzled his face into the demon’s shoulder, mumbling something to someone in his dream. His heart hurt at the thought of losing it all, losing the boy he had spent so long and yet not long enough to raise. How could he, a demon have fallen so for the boy? He was just a human, wasn't he? Hell, he's known and gotten foolishly close to countless of them, he shouldn't care.... he was a demon for somebody's sake. And yet, looking at the child his mind raced for a solution. He had to think of something, ANYTHING, to fix this. Even if he had to hire a crazy old human from his past to do the legwork for him.

As he finished tucking William into bed, gently brushing his hair from his face, he couldn’t help but wish that he had that power that Aziraphale had, with wishing someone to dream whatever they liked best. 

“Good night, my darling William. We won’t fail, I promise you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love inserting callbacks. They're so fun.
> 
> I'm not sure when the next chapter will come out. It's been so hot lately and my days off are errand days. Hopefully I can get something written, just not sure when the next chapter will come out. Please keep me motivated by feeding me feedback. 
> 
> Iay not always respond but I love and appreciate each of my readers and commentators!


	6. Saturday Morning Fun time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running out, Armageddon is on the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, its been hot and my schedule is all over the place, but i finally got this one done. Its even longer because of the extra time I took!

The following day was as uneventful as one could get. Aziraphale was still was in his room, going through the book the young girl who ran her bike into his car the night before. Crowley wasn’t entirely sure as to why he was being so secretive, but he understood that the angel was just sometimes like that. Sometimes his old habits got in the way. Neither the demon or William had seen him all morning, at the very least until lunch, when Crowley managed to coax Aziraphale from his unending research.

“I just need to cross reference some things with books I have back at the shop.” Aziraphale stated between bites of the home made shepherd’s pie. “Plus it has been a while since I’ve seen it, would be nice to check things over and be sure it’s fine, all that.”

“’f course, angel. Nothing wrong with that. I’ll take William into town. Maybe we’ll catch a matinee or something. How does that sound?”

William smiled up from his plate, it had been a while since they went to watch a movie. “Sure, sounds great!”

Crowley smiled, not letting it slip about the message he had received that morning from hell; about how Hastur was heading to Megiddo to meet with the ‘anti-Christ’. Only problem being is that the boy who heaven and hell thought was the anti-christ, they already knew wasn’t as Warlock Dowling, as far as they could tell when they checked on him, did not have a pet dog. He didn’t need to worry Aziraphale about any of that. Plus, like he said, old habits often get in the way.

...

Aziraphale could not help but smile at the sight of his shop. He’d had it for so long, just over 200 years, it had been his home for that long. It was comforting in a way, to see all the dust covered tomes, the cobwebs that had developed in his absence. It was nice. Still though, he did not have time to reminisce about the shop. He had work to do, and check on the references mentioned by the prophecies he came across. He was close, and he was certain that his own books will reveal the answer they had been needing.

And he was right. His heart pounded with the answer that became so clear. He had to do something with this information, he had to call Crowley. He pulled out his address book, but before he had a chance to look up the demon’s mobile number, the front door to the shop tingled as it opened.

“Oh, uh I’m terribly sorry, but we are closed!”

“Oh we are fully aware that you’ve kept your shop closed lately, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale’s heart skipped a beat at the familiar voice. “Gabriel. What a pleasant surprise!’

The archangel entered the shop followed shortly by another angel, whom Aziraphale didn’t recognize at first. 

“My question is, why? After so many years of you insisting using this as a base of your operations, it seems almost out of character for you to just leave this sit for so long.”

The principality smiled, carefully moving the old news papers on his desk to cover Agnes’s book. “Oh, well, you know. The past eleven years I HAD been attempting to raise the anti-christ child to the side of good. Got tied up with all of that, no time to tend to my shop. I had only just got back in town.”

“Oh, yes, your little experiment.” Gabriel’s purple eyes twinkled with a joke Aziraphale most assuredly had not known the punchline to. “That does make sense, especially considering the boy should be on his way to Israel right now, where he shall come in to his powers as we speak.”

Aziraphale struggled to keep his smile on his face. How had he not known that bit of information? “Is he now?”

“Yep. Shouldn’t be too long now. The horsemen have already been dispatched.”

“Horsemen? Who?”

“I don’t know, not my department. By the way, you know Sandalphon, right?”

Aziraphale smiled nervously at the other angel. Now he knew why he was familiar. “Yes. Sodom and Gamora. Turning a lot of people into pillars of salt.”

The other angel smiled as if it was the most proudest achievement it ever accomplished. The grin sent a chill down Aziraphale’s spine. 

“In any case, Aziraphale, we just came here to let you know about the horsemen. And see if you wanted to come up to heaven and get ready.”

Aziraphale swallowed nervously. “Well, not quite, I do have some things I need to take care of first. But I was wondering, does there really have to be a war?”

“You can’t have a war, without war.” Sandalphon stated matter-of-factly from the door. 

“Sandalphon, that is such a great way to put it. ‘You can’t have a war without war.’ Don’t you agree, Aziraphale?”

The principality gave a nervous smile, and nodded. He looked over at where the book of prophecies was sitting on his desk. Suddenly everything started to become clear on what he had to do. 

“Well, we will leave you to your little shop. See you soon at the battlefront, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale took a steadying breath. He didn’t like deceiving other angels like this, but he had no idea how battle hungry they all were. He looked upwards sadly, and wondered... just what would be the right thing to do? He fiddled with his pocket watch and popped it open to check the time and paused. Yes. He knew what he had to do. 

...

Crowley and William were enjoying their afternoon matinee. After he had contacted his human operative, they had found a theater playing a fun little series of clay-mation movies called Saturday Morning Funtime. It was an entertaining cartoon; the demon had always enjoyed cartoons. They gave a chance for humans to tell their stories in an inventive manner. He always loved stories that humans told, regardless of the type of story. 

However it would soon be apparent how UNfriendly for children this cartoon would turn out to be, when one of the cartoon characters morphed into the demon Hastur, who after threatening Crowley for screwing up the swap, brutally murdered one of the other cartoon characters. 

Without skipping a beat, the demon grabbed Williams hand and they rushed out of the theater, ignoring the confused clamor of the other audience members.

“Who was that, dad?” William struggled to keep up the pace, feeling confused as well as concerned for his dad’s sudden change in demeanor.

“Danger. We need to get to my old flat, and fast. There’s no time to waste.”

Crowley drove through London as fast as possible, in spite of his usual rule of not driving that fast when William was in the car. Sometimes there were exceptions to the rules. They made it to his Mayfair apartment in no time.

As soon as he entered the apartment he made a beeline to one of his more precious items, a framed sketch by none other than Leonardo Da Vinci; the original mock-up of Mona Lisa. Had he had more time, he would have reminisced about how much the artist lamented about not being able to capture the woman’s smile in the painting like he did in the sketch. He opened the safe revealing the most important item he had acquired in the past 6000 years. Even the sight of it sent a chill down his spine, mainly because of what it could do to a demon such as himself.

“William, be a dear and grab that flask for me, would you?”

“Sure, dad.” William grabbed the tartan print thermos, and then held it out to Crowley, who flinched backwards on instinct. 

“Careful, love.” The boy tilted his head in confusing, bringing the flask back towards his body. “That there is a very dangerous item for someone like me.”

“What is it?”

“Holy water; given to me by your papa, Aziraphale. We’re going to use it against whatever is coming for me. Come on.”

William helped set up a trap with a red bucket leaning against the open door, it was a bit precarious, but Crowley hoped it would work. There was one last loose end though.

“Listen, we don’t have much time. I want you to listen to me carefully William.” The boy nodded. “I need you to go into the bathroom and lock the door.” An elevator dinged outside the apartment, drawing both of their attention. “Quickly now. No matter what you hear, you must stay in there and stay quiet. Do you understand?”

The boy nodded. “Yes, dad.”

“Promise me.” His glasses slid slightly down his nose, and William could see that his dad’s eyes were fully yellow. The boy nodded.

“I promise.” 

“Good. Go now.” Crowley grabbed the green spray bottle and headed towards his massive desk, sitting on the throne. His heart pounded in his throat. He heard Hastur and Ligur calling his name from the hall.

“In here, people.” Crowley watched as the pair of demons made their way in, his jaw clenched. He gave no reaction to how Ligur was destroyed by the holy water trap, or to Hastur’s obnoxious screaming. He halfway wished it had landed on both of them, then his problem would be solved. Now he had to deal with one of hell’s more vicious demons. He leveled the spray bottle onto him. “Hi.”

“Holy water! I can’t believe that even a... a demon would... HOLY WATER!? He hadn’t done nothing to you!” Hastur was visibly shaking, his terrible white wig slipping off his frog.

“Yet.” Crowley sneered as he raised the green plastic plant mister, sloshing it around threateningly. “Go away.” 

“You don’t frighten me.” 

“Do you know what this is? This is a plant mister, cheapest and most efficient on the market today. It can squirt a fine spray of water into the air. It’s filled with holy water. It can turn you into that.” Crowley gestured the nozzle to Ligur’s remains. “Now. Go. Away.”

Hastur eyed the bottle warily. “You’re bluffing.” 

Crowley quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Ask yourself. Do you feel lucky?” It was all he could do to not add the word ‘punk’ to his threat. The reference would have gone over the other demon’s head, and the last thing he needed to do was make the only other person who would get in the flat laugh.

Hastur grinned as he watched a droplet of water leak from the bottle land on Crowley’s finger. He had caught a strange whiff in the air and now realized what it was. He bared his teeth. “Yes, actually I do.” 

The demon waved his hand causing the bottle to burst in Crowley’s hand, and the red-haired demon waved his hand as it stung.

“In fact, you should ask yourself, Crawley, whether YOU feel lucky.” Hastur moved fast, bursting into the bathroom and snatching the human child he found in there, bringing it roughly back to the main room. “Didn’t take you as one for human pets.”

It was all Crowley could do to keep his face neutral. “Eh, well somebody had to handle the holy water. Couldn’t just very well walk into a church and take it from a font, could I?”

“So then you wouldn’t mind then disposing of it. Why keep it around?”

“Well you lot showed up didn’t you. Didn’t have the chance to wipe his memories, and send it back to his parents. All that.” Crowley’s mind raced. He had to think fast, he HAD to get William to safety.

“Why bother, seems his ‘parent’ is right here.”

Crowley’s heart froze. He maintained his composure. “What’s that mean? There’s no other humans here.”

“Crowley, hell should have realized just what a terrible liar you are. It smells just like you.”

William struggled against Hastur’s grip, turning his face away from the demon’s foul smelling breath. 

Crowley put on his best cavalier attitude. “Well, obviously he smells like me. This is my flat, you’d be hard pressed in finding something in here that doesn’t smell like me. ‘cept for the obvious.” He nodded to the remains of Ligur, which was still smoking. 

Hastur did not like the reminder. “Well then you wouldn’t mind if I took care of it for you, won't you.”

“What?” Crowley’s facade slipped as he watched the next moments pass as if in slow motion. He watched in dismay as Hastur waved his hand and in a flash of fire, William vanished. “No, wait!” He stared at the now empty space in shock, the sound of William’s voice calling out ‘dad!’ rang in his ears as he was sent to wherever Hastur sent him. “Where did you send him?”

Hastur grinned menacingly. “Hell of course. Gonna have some fun with him once I get back there.”

Crowley’s blood ran cold. He was now out of options, and if he didn’t do something, the end of the world was going to happen. He had to act fast, think fast. He cleared his throat. "Well congratulations Duke Hastur, you passed the test!"

"Test? What you on about? I have you dead to rights. Having human pets, mucking up the anti-Christ. Hanging with an angel, all that!"

Crowley bared his teeth in a menacing grin. Of course they would know about that. "Yes, all a part of something bigger. Bigger than you and I, as big as Armageddon. We had to be sure that you could be trusted as general in the front lines. I've been in contact with the dark council Hastur. We had to be sure what side you were on, and how you would handle it if something such as a demon consorting with an angel or getting chummy with a human. And you, Duke Hastur, passed with flying colors."

"You've gone mad!"

Crowley chuckled. "I wouldn't expect you to believe me. Why don't we call the Dark Council and you can hear it from them directly."

Crowley pulled out his cellphone and pressed a couple buttons on his dial pad.

"You're calling the Dark Council?"

"Yep. And they say SO LONG SUCKER!" Crowley stuck out his tongue and vanished into his phone, following the line to the number he had dialed. With luck Hastur would follow. And he did. He could hear Hastur shouting at him behind him, he heard the fourth ring and immediately changed direction, too fast for Hastur to catch on time and as soon as he landed back in his flat, he hung up his phone. He looked at the answering machine as he heard Hastur's voice calling for him to let him out, and switched it off. He vaguely wished he had more holy-water to deal with him, but perhaps it would be better not. He might need Hastur alive later. He looked over at the singed ground, his heart squeezing. As tears fought to come out, he made a solemn vow. 

"I'll come for you, William. Wherever he sent you, I'll get you back. I promise." But first, there was an apocalypse that needed to be stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Always:   
> If I am missing a tag you want added, let me know and I will add it!
> 
> I don't always reply to your comments, but I appreciate every one! Feel free to tell me what you liked, it keeps me motivated to write!!!
> 
> I am always open for fanart, response fics, pod fics and translations! Just please make sure to link to me and send them to me! 
> 
> My twitter and tumblr is sailoryue, my Instagram is supersailoryue. Come see my doodles!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glad this one didnt take so long to write out, hopefully that cliffhanger didn't kill you too much. :D  
> this chapter isn't as long as the other one because i didnt want to end up with a 3000 word chapter... tho im sure you guys would have just loved that :P

Time was running out. The end of the world was fast approaching, given the unusual weather. Crowley had no time to dwell on what he couldn’t have done, and what had to be done, even if it hurt worse than walking barefoot in a church. He headed down stairs, sense expanded wide to make sure that there were no other surprises waiting for him. The Bentley started as he climbed in, and he started driving as fast as possible; even though the bookshop wasn’t even that far from his flat, time was of the essence. As he drove towards Soho, he attempted to call Aziraphale, but got a busy signal, which was unusual for the angel. 

As soon as he arrived in front of the shop he rushed in to see the angel on the phone. He felt a sudden pit in his stomach.

“I know who you are, I dialed you!” Aziraphale frowned at the phone on the table. “Listen I know where the anti-Christ i- Crowley? What are you doing here, I just called you.”

Without saying anything, Crowley snatched the phone out of the angel’s hands and ripped it off of the wire, throwing it to the ground. He sniffed the air as if waiting for something to pop out of the now destroyed phone. “Sorry angel, there was no time to explain. I’ll get you a new one.”

“What do you mean ‘no time to explain?’ My dear, what is going on?” Aziraphale wasn’t going to let the issue drop easily, that was for sure.

Crowley ran a hand through his slightly wet hair, sighing. “Hell knows the swap got mucked up. They tried to take me.” He swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering how he was going to explain William. “I trapped Hastur in my ansaphone, and didn’t want to give him the chance to come through your phone line. We have more than enough on our plates than to add an asshole demon on top of everything”

Aziraphale begrudgingly accepted his reasoning. “Very well. You are certain then, that no one followed you?”

“Far as I can tell. You said you found the anti-Christ?”

“Yes! I found his exact location. He’s still in Tadfield.”

"Then lets go, you can explain as we drive, we have no time to lose."

...

“The boy’s home is in lower Tadfield, his human last name appears to be Young.” Aziraphale looked over his notes. 

“And you are absolutely certain it’s Him?” Crowley frowned as he noticed traffic seemed to be slowing down the further he traveled to the outskirts of London.

“Yes. He has a dog, and going by one of the prophecies in Agnes’s book, the dog is the hell-hound, everything added up.” Crowley made a non-committal noise distracted by the sudden standstill traffic. “Crowley, dear why aren’t we moving?” The demon pointed out the windshield. “Oh. Oh my.”

Up ahead, quite visible from their position in spite of the amount of traffic in front of them, was a massive wall of fire that stretched as far as the eye could see, both left and right, and high into the sky.

Crowley muttered a string of curses under his breath and thumped his fist on the steering wheel. “Of course of all things, THIS has to bite me in the ass.”

“What in.... on earth is that??” Aziraphale looked over at the demon, very confused and very worried.

“That, angel, is the M25. All of London is now surrounded by that wall of fire.”

Aziraphale looked back at the seemingly impenetrable fire blocking their path. “I... but how did that come to be? There was nothing in stories about this!"

“Cuz its fairly recent this happened. Made some modifications back in the 70’s. You have a map in your notes?”

“Of course.”

"Take a look at central London, particular the M25 itself and tell me what it looks like to you.” Crowley glared at the fire, angry at it, at himself, and, just in general, the universe.

“Very well.” Aziraphale looked over the map, not quite sure what he had meant until he noticed the shape. “Crowley, is that....?”

“Yep.” Crowley let his lips pop on the p. “Dread sigil of Odegra in the language of the Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu. At the time it was a good idea to get hell off my ass for a while back in the 70’s. In fact up until eleven years ago, it worked.. Like I said, THIS was the last thing I ever expected to come of it.”

Aziraphale frowned. “Well, you know what they say, evil always contains he seeds of its own destruction. No matter how well-planned, how foolproof an evil plan, it will founder upon the rocks of iniquity and vanish.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “EITHER WAY,” He growled out. “We’re now stuck in London.” 

“How far up do you suppose that goes?” Aziraphale looked up to the sky, as if trying to see if there was a way over it.

“Too high to fly over, if that’s what you are suggesting.”

“Well, do you have any better ideas?”

“Yes, Crawley, DO you have any ideas?”

The two in the front seat jumped at the sudden voice coming from the back seat and they turned to look over their shoulders. Aziraphale felt a surge of unease come from his friend next to him. Crowley didn’t hold back the sneer he threw in the frog demon’s direction.

“Ah, Hastur. How are you? Enjoy your time in voicemail?”

“Joke all you like. There’s nowhere to run. Especially since I’ve caught you red handed hanging ‘round a wank-winged angel.”

Crowley decidedly ignored the angel’s questioning look and slowly eased his foot off the break, and started driving forward. “Aren’t you meant to be lining up, ready for battle around now?”

Aziraphale thankfully remained quiet. He had noticed that the car had started moving and looked worriedly at his friend. What had he planned?

“Hell will not forget. Hell will not forgive. You’re done. Do you think you can get across that safely?” Hastur smiled deviously, a sight that made both Aziraphale and Crowley feel a great unease, especially when Hastur turned his black eyes to the angel’s direction. “That’s hellfire. Guaranteed to destroy your little pal. First a pet human, now a pet angel. You’re unfit to be called a demon.”

“Crowley, what did he mean by that? Has something happened to....” Aziraphale trailed off when the demon held up a couple of fingers of his hand up in a warning to silence his next words. What had the vile being meant by ‘pet human?’ Had something happened to William? Then he realized what else Hastur had said, about the wall being made of hellfire. He looked into the impassive face of his friend. “Crowley?”

“You know Hastur, the thing I like best about time, is that every day it takes us further and further away from the fourteenth century. I really didn’t like the fourteenth century. You would have loved it, then. They didn’t have cars back in the fourteenth century. Lovely clever human people, inventing cars and motorways and windscreen wipers. You’ve got to hand it to them, haven’t you?” He started driving faster along the shoulder, focusing straight ahead at the approaching fire.

“Why are you driving? Stop this thing!“

“Crowley, dear, what are you doing?” Aziraphale placed his hand on the demon’s shoulder, disregarding the foul smelling demon in the back seat. 

The demon looked at him from the corner of his eyes and muttered under his breath, “Do you trust me, angel?”

Without hesitation, Aziraphale frowned and blurted out, “Of course not! You’re a demon!” While buckling his seat belt.

Crowley grinned as he stepped on the gas, driving straight towards the fire, and Hastur became visibly panicked as they got closer and closer. “What are you doing!? It’s over! Stop driving!”

And yet Crowley remained silent, his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“That’s not hellfire! That’s the real thing!” Aziraphale looked at the demon who he just now realized had a frog hidden under a white shaggy wig. “You’ll be discorporated too! And don’t think hell will issue you a new body.” 

The antique car approached the fire, and Crowley showed no signs of slowing, in fact he pressed down harder on the accelerator. “Well you know what they say, if you’ve got to go, do it in style! Hold on tight!”

Crowley laughed maniacly as they went into the fire, while Hastur screamed in terror.

Aziraphale remained decidedly quiet, one hand holding onto the edge of his seat, the other pressed into the ceiling of the car. He was torn between closing his eyes to shut out the impending doom, and watching in awe as the car itself became engulfed by the fire. Either way, he grit his teeth and wondered.... Would they make it through to the other side?


	8. Doomsday Alternative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running out, they need to get to Tadifeld as fast as they can. Can they make it in one piece?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay on this one, work has been a bear lately, but I managed to get this out there. Hope you enjoy!

The fire was hot, more hot than any normal bonfire or any other man-made fire. Not surprising considering the fire was most certainly not man-made. It was certainly hot enough that had he been in a better state of mind, Aziraphale would wonder what could have happened to anything and anyone that may have been on the M25 when the fire began. But right now, the only thing he worried about was getting through to the other side. He gripped the seat hard, the other hand braced on the roof, much like he would do when his friend speeds through London at near 100mph. He gave a sidelong look at the demon in the drivers seat, noting how Crowley was concentrating hard, as he was focusing his power on staying in one piece. 

Crowley ignored everything around him, especially how his unwanted passenger cried out in agony and hatred as his body was discorporated. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he felt the Bentley tremble from the infernal temperature of the fire. He did the only thing he could do, and use the one thing that no other demon had: Use his imagination to keep the car in one piece.

“You... are my car.” He growled through clenched teeth. “I’ve had you from new. And you are NOT... going... to burn... Don’t even THINK of it...!”

The fire inside the vehicle seemed to die out, not that there was much difference. Crowley was covered in soot and his hair was a mess. His golden snake eyes had blown wide, not one bit of his sclera was white. Aziraphale knew it would be best to not distract the demon. He hoped they got through soon....

Luckily it wasn’t too much longer, as they eventually broke free of the fire, and Crowley couldn’t help but laugh in victory, waving at the two police officers waiting on the outer edge of the fire as he drove past. Perhaps things were finally going his way!

“Alright, angel. Where do we go now?” He glanced to his left and had to do a double take.

“I must apologize, my dear. It appears I may have discorporated.”

Crowley stopped the car, forgetting, for the moment, that the vehicle was still on fire. He looked over at the angel who despite not having a body was sitting in the passenger seat. He cursed under his breath. “Angel, I, ngk. I didn’t...”

“It’s quite alright, my dear. It was bound to happen, that body WAS 6000 years old.” 

Crowley still muttered under his breath an apology. It was quiet, as a ‘proper demon’ doesnt apologize. “So what now? You can’t stay here like that.”

Aziraphale’s form was translucent, and lacked any defining features that Crowley had known. Instead of earth toned vest and clothing, instead of his tartan bow-tie, it was all one color. If the angel had been solid he was sure it would all be white or cream colored. 

“No, I’m afraid you are right. I can feel the pull towards heaven getting quite strong. But given how close we are to the start of things, I highly doubt they will be quick to re-issue me a body so quick.”

Crowley tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, mind racing fast. “Maybe if you could...” he trailed off, not sure how his friend would even take such a suggestion.

“Perhaps if I were to find a receptive body.” The angel muttered at the same time. Crowley wasn't sure if he heard him correctly.

"Angel?" Crowley looked at Aziraphale sharply, as that was the last thing he would have expected to hear from the angel.

“I mean, if you think about it. Demon’s can do it, and Angels and demons are of the same stock. There’s no reason to stand that it....Wouldn’t work....” Aziraphale fiddled with his ring distractedly. 

“Right.” Crowley cleared his throat. “But where would you find one this far out?”

“It might take me time to find one, as well as get to Tadfield airbase. Pity I can’t inhabit yours. Angel... demon.... we’d probably explode.” Aziraphale’s hand dropped to his side, as he concentrated, to try to see if he could tell if there was anyone close to Tadfield that he could get to.

Crowley flopped back into the seat, at a loss. He was tempted to just ask the angel to inhabit his body. Even if they were to explode, what was the worse that could happen? He would at least be discorporated fast enough and have half a chance to find William. His heart panged at the thought of what could be happening to the boy, his... son. He shook his head, there was no time for that right now. If they didn’t, act fast, the world was doomed regardless. He ran his right hand through his damp, sooty hair, and stretched his other hand to his side, wanting to grip onto something; anything. 

Before either of them realized what was happening, Crowley and Aziraphale’s hands crossed planes. The angel no longer felt like he was being pulled heavenward, but instead he found himself being pulled into the demon. It felt hot; very hot; though not as hot as the fire they had just driven through. Crowley closed his eyes and concentrated on NOT exploding as another ethereal form fought for a place within his corporation. 

“This is rather...”

“We need to relax....”

“Easy for you to say...”

“This is completely new for me too....”

Back and forth, Crowley’s voice changed between his and Aziraphale’s, and his thoughts were hard to control, he had Aziraphale’s thoughts among his own thoughts, and it was difficult to tell who’s was who’s.

“Crowley... what is....” A thought had passed through the demon’s mind, the last one he was thinking of before accidentally pulling an angel’s spirit into his body.

“Angel, I....” He fought against his body trying to eject the foreign spirit. “No, we will not fall apart here, we need to concentrate. I’ll explain what happened later, we don’t have time for that.”

“No, you are quite right. Time enough for that later, once we find the boy.”

It only took a few minutes more before they managed to sort things out. Crowley turned his rear view mirror so he could see into it, and noticed that his reflection was no longer his own. 

“Well... that’s new.” Crowley turned his head back and forth and noticed that it was Aziraphale that mirrored the actions.

“Yes, well. We should get a wiggle on.”

“I... what?” The demon looked at the mirror incredulously.

“To Tadfield!” Aziraphale nodded his head in his direction.

“No, I got that. It was the ‘wiggle on.’” Crowley shook his head, and started driving, he grabbed the map from within the book to make sure they were going in the right direction, and increased the speed. Time was running out.

...

The car managed to make it to the airbase, though there was a tricky bit when they got INTO the small village, they drove in circles trying to find the way through. There were no street signs, so the map was rather useless. Luckily they found a local resident to help point them in the right direction. 

The man seemed rather confused that not only was the young man driving a car that was on fire, but he seemed to have been practicing ventriloquism while asking for directions as there was distinctly two different voices coming from him. What was it with the youth these days? From Adam and the Them acting like rule breaking hooligans, to this young lad and his flaming vehicle, the world was going to ruin!

...

They pulled up to the entrance of the military base and stepped out of the Bentley. Crowley grabbed the book on his way out, just in case they needed to consult it to convince the army human to let them in. 

“You won’t get that sort of performance out of a modern car.” He made his way to the uniformed man who had climbed out of the gatehouse, his weapon in hand. “Army human, my friend and I... I mean, I’ve come here for a very important rea--”

However, just as they were about to give a really good, albeit probably half-baked reason to get inside the military base, the car exploded in a pillar of fire. Crowley felt his stomach drop at the sight, and fell to his knees as he watched his most prized possession go up in flames.

‘Crowley...’ Aziraphale muttered softly, wishing there was a way to comfort his friend. He turned their head over the shoulder noting the human had his gun trained on them.

“Sir! I’m going to have to ask you to put your hands up!”

‘Crowley, we need to do something, he has a gun. IT’S POINTED AT US!’

But Crowley didn’t respond. He was heartbroken at this point.

‘Crowley! I am the nice one, you can’t expect me to do the dirty work!’

“I am having a moment here!” He snapped, both at Aziraphale and the army human who kept yelling at him, demanding he do what he says or he will fire. 

‘Oh for the love of...’ Aziraphale sighed, and snapped Crowley’s fingers at the human, causing the human to vanish in a pop. Later he would hope he sent the human somewhere safe and pleasant, but there wasn’t time for that now. 

“Rest in peace. You were a good car.” He picked up the book and the tire iron, and headed to the gate, which for some reason was already open. “Aziraphale, I wasn’t exactly paying attention, but did some kids ride by while we were looking at the car?”

‘Yes, I do believe there was. Do you think one of them was the anti-Christ?’

“Possibly.” He registered that the alarm had been blaring, rather obnoxiously. Approaching the gate were a handful of vehicles, each loaded with military personnel. He cleared his throat. “Right. I need to get over the car thing.” He looked fondly at the still burning fire, then back to the approaching humans. “I’ll deal with them.”

‘Let’s go lick some serious butt!’ 

It was all Crowley could do to not roll his eyes. “ It’s ‘kick,’ Aziraphale. ‘Kick butt’ for heaven’s sake!” He shuddered violently, air stolen from his lungs. “I can’t believe I just said that.” 

They ran onto the base, following the bike tracks toward the center of it all. They had no idea what they were walking into, but they both were on edge. Whatever happened next, it would determine the survival of the whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably have one or two left, I can't believe it's almost done! Hope you enjoyed this part, on to the next part!
> 
> If I am missing a tag you want added, let me know and I will add it!
> 
> I don't always reply to your comments, but I appreciate every one! Feel free to tell me what you liked, it keeps me motivated to write!!!
> 
> I am always open for fanart, response fics, pod fics and translations! Just please make sure to link to me and send them to me! 
> 
> My twitter and tumblr is sailoryue, my Instagram is supersailoryue. Come see my doodles!


	9. Last night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To recap, they made it to the Airbase, and minutes from the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long for this update, but its a long one!

The day had been a long one, and really quite strange. When Crowley had shown up to where the ‘showdown’ had begun, the last thing either he nor Aziraphale expected was to see was to see the four horsemen being taken down by four children, with a very familiar object.

“Isn’t that your sword?” Crowley asked out loudp softly. 

“You know, I do believe it is...” The angel wondered sadly about how the sword had gotten here. 

Death was the only one that he wasn’t so much as ‘taken down,’ like his brethren, but rather left in a flurry of dark wings of night shortly after one of the children said something to him. Well that was one situation down, now what to do with the Boy.

‘What exactly DO we do, my dear?’ Aziraphale voiced his concern when Crowley gripped the tire iron tightly.

“Dunno angel. I just.... we have to.... but.....” Crowley could not get the full thought out. Neither of them wanted to do it, but if they didn’t... 

‘My dear, we have to do SOMETHING.’

“Excuse me,” The boy called their attention, looking completely unphased at their appearance. “But why are you two people? You should go back to being two separate people.”

The sensation of splitting into two was next on the list of oddities. Crowley looked over at the angel in disbelief. Aziraphale had been looking down at himself, patting himself in places as if to check to make sure that everything was still there. The demon looked back at the boy, who nodded in satisfaction over fixing them. He had half a mind to wonder if he should thank the boy? I mean technically speaking the lad outranked him. 

Before either he or Aziraphale could do anything further, a pair of humans exited the building. The woman, who Crowley recognized as the woman who hit his car greeted the children happily, before turning her attention to him. Before she could get more than a few words out, he tossed her book to her. 

As nice as everything was going, both Crowley and Aziraphale knew better than to think everything was over. And as if on cue, there was a flash of lightning and two figures appeared on the tarmac. The Archangel Gabriel, and the Lord of the flies themself, Beelzebub. The two friends looked at each other with concern. Just how were they going to get out of this?

...

The day had been long, as later that evening, well after sunset, an angel and a demon sat on a bench at a random bus stop in Tadfield. After everything that had happened that day, from the M25, to dealing with their respective bosses and the fact that Satan had broken through to the surface of the earth to yell at his son, the two of them wanted nothing more than o just go home and sleep for a week, the demon more than either of them considering he had to pause time long enough to talk to the boy. However, there was still so much to deal with yet; as Aziraphale liked to say, ‘there was no rest for the good.’ Either way, it was all Crowley could do to stay awake. 

While they waited for the bus, they shared a bottle of wine that the angel had summoned from his bookshop and talked about ineffability and all that. 

“It all worked out for the best. Just imagine how awful it might have been had we been at all competent.” Aziraphale passed the wine bottle back to Crowley, who made a non-committal sound after he nodded his head.

“eh.... point taken.” The demon took a deep pull from the bottle.

“Oh, here comes the bus.” The angel furrowed his eyebrows. “It says Oxford on the front?’” 

"Yeah... but he’ll go to London. He just won’t know why.”

“I don’t suppose he’d go to Hayling? I do miss Wiliam. I hope he’s alright.”

Crowley coughed on his drink, forgetting momentarily that he didn’t really NEED to breath. He looked at Aziraphale sadly, “He’s in hell, ‘member?” His voice cracked. “Hastur kidnapped him.”

Aziraphale’s face fell as he remembered the snippit of thought he came across when sharing Crowley’s body. They hadn’t the chance to talk about it.

“We WILL get him back, mind you,” Crowley’s face hardened. “That toad’s days are numbered. AFTER we figure out what that prophecy means.”

The angel nodded as the bus pulled up in front of the stop, the driver had a blank look on his face. Aziraphale made sure to put a sizable fare into the box, he hoped it would be enough to cover the long trip he had ahead of him.

...

They arrived at Crowley’s flat, and climbed the stairs together. 

“Sorry ‘bout the mess.” The demon gestured to the pile of singed and melted clothing in the doorway. “‘S just Ligur.”

Aziraphale gingerly side stepped the pile, and Crowley tried to miracle it away. Nothing happened, and the demon tried again, eyes narrowing.

“Am I really that worn out?” Crowley knew stopping time would take a lot of his energy, but he didn’t think he was completely powerless. 

Aziraphale laid a hand on his shoulder. “My dear, it may be the holy water. Even in this manner, it sill has divine properties. Let me.”

Aziraphale miracled the clothing to the dumpster behind the building in a sealed trash bag. Crowley was suddenly glad he didn’t do what he was about to do, and pick the clothes up by hand. He noted that there wasn’t even a wet spot on the carpet.

“Right.”

The silence was rather awkward. Crowley could not wait for things to go back to normal. As exhausted as he was, he couldn’t afford to rest; neither of them could. Not with heaven and hell surely to be out for revenge for the aversion of their stupid war. There was a sudden noise coming from the bedroom area, and it WASN'T from the plants. The plants were smart enough for once to not act out and tremble. The demon quietly headed in the direction of the soun, placing a finger on his lips as he blocked Aziraphale from going ahead of him. If hell was showing up now, he would do anything to protect the angel. 

He peered into the dark bedroom, and at first nothing looked out of ordinary. The bed stood in the center against the back wall, bedding a mess. Odd.... The bed should be made, as for one thing he never used the bed in the flat, and two: it had been 11 years since he had even been in the flat’s bedroom. That’s when he noticed that there was someone actually SLEEPING in the bed. Someone...human. That’s when the realization hit him.

“WIlliam!” Crowley rushed to the bed, startling the occupant. “You’re alright!” 

“Dad?” The boy asked sleepily.

Aziraphale looked around for the light switch, however when he did not find one he made a motion with his hand, whispering softly, “Let there be light,” illuminating the room with a soft glow. 

William looked over at him sleepily; smiling softly. “Papa!”

Aziraphale returned his smile. “Hello my dear. Did you sleep well?”

William nodded the best he could, considering Crowley had pretty much wrapped him in a tight hug, rivaling a boa constrictor. If he hadn’t been wearing his glasses, the angel was certain there would be tears in his eyes.

“Da-ad,” William struggled, only halfheartedly to pry Crowley’s arms from around him. 

“HOW?” Crowley asked, emphatically. “How did you get here?”

William frowned, thinking for a moment before shrugging, making a small sound, one that Crowley understood better than Aziraphale had.

The demon looked over at Aziraphale, who had moved to the foot of the bed. Something told him that the night was far from over.

...

The small family all sat together in Crowley’s mostly unused bed, Aziraphale sitting next to the demon, William nestled comfortably in both of their laps, wrapped in a slightly warmer blanket than the one that had been on the bed. As soon as they were settled, Aziraphale had miracled the boy a nice mug of hot chocolate.

“So, my darling child, what happened after Hastur teleported you? Do you know that?” Crowley was so worried about what the boy went through, he had to know.

“Hastur? Oh! You mean the man that smelled like poo?” William wrinkled his nose at the memory. Crowley couldn’t help but smile. He had a point too. Pretty much only a very small amount of demons adapted to personal hygiene, and that damned toad was not one of them. “I’m not sure. I was in an empty room. At least I think it was a room? There weren’t any walls. Just a chair.”

“A chair?” Aziraphale furrowed his eyebrows. He had an idea, but he had to be sure.

William nodded. “Yeah. And then There was a voice. It said I was earlier than expected and to have a seat and wait. So I did.”

“I see.” 

Crowley looked over at the angel wondering what he was thinking. “That doesn’t sound like any part of hell I’ve ever seen, or heaven that I remember.”

“Because it wasn’t.” Aziraphale had a far away look, waiving his hand as if he were trying to think of the best way to put it. “He may have been... in the middle.”

“The middle?” Crowley frowned. He certainly had never heard of it.

“Its rather difficult to explain. Lime a waiting room, if you will. from what I can surmise....SOMEONE intervened.”

“Someone?” The demon frowned taking a minute to catch on to what Aziraphale was implying. “Wait, you’re not saying... that....” Crowley looked to the ceiling, eyebrow quirked, then looked back at Aziraphale, who nodded. “Well.... I’m not thanking Her!..... not that I’m not grateful.” He muttered the last bit under his breath.

“Her? Her who?” William’s innocent question brought them back to the present.

“The Almighty.” Aziraphale gently squeezed the boy’s knee, smiling fondly. “God.” He added when William looked at him cluelessly.

William’s eyes widened at that. “God really exists?”

Crowley let out a sharp laugh. “Your dad’s are an angel and a demon, 'f course She exists.”

William rested his head on Crowley’s shoulder, starting to feel tired again. “Well I did just find out about that three days ago.” 

The three of them laughed. 

“So now what?” William asked sleepily

Crowley let out a puff of air, letting out the same ‘I don’t know’ sound that William had let out earlier.

“The head offices certainly aren’t going to take what happened today lying down.”

“No, they wont. Beelzebub is especially... ehhhh ‘difficult,’ to say the least when things don’t go their way.” Crowley wrinkled his nose. “I’d also wager a guess that heaven and hell found out about our arrangement.”

“Oh dear. I hadn’t thought about that. That certainly isn’t good if they have.”

William tilted his head. “Why not?”

“Angels and demons are enemies, our ‘arrangement’ was something neither side would EVER tolerate.” Crowley muttered, suddenly having a bit of perspective on an argument that happened so long ago.

“Oh. I guess that makes sense. That doesn’t seem fair.”

“That’s how it is sometimes,” Crowley sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, ditching his glasses. “We need to figure out that damned prophecy of Agnes’s.”

“What’s a prophecy?”

Aziraphale pulled out the singed scrap of paper he had grabbed at the airbase. “A prophecy is a prediction of the future. The woman who wrote the prophecies in the book this came out of, was a very adept witch. They say every one of her prophecies came true.”

William looked at the paper. “’When alley is fayed and all is done, ye must choofe your faces wisely....’ What kind of language is this?” The boy wrinkled his nose.

Aziraphale laughed softly. “It’s english, but a rather out dated writing. Roughly it says ‘When all is said, and all is done, you must choose your faces wisely, for soon enough you will be playing with fire.”

“Leave it to a witch from 300 years ago to make a confusing prediction.”

William thought a moment. “Hey dad?”

“Yes, darling?” 

“You know how that holy water made that one demon go away?”

Crowley tried and failed to suppress the shudder that ran through his body. “Yes...?”

“Is there something like that that would hurt an angel?”

Crowley swallowed thickly. “Yeah. Hell....fire”

The room went very quiet as the demon’s voice trailed off. Aziraphale likewise went stiff. The two old friends looked at each other. 

“Crowley, my dear... you don’t suppose that...?”

“Heaven and hell are planning on d..... using holy water and hellfire on us? Wouldn’t put it past those wankers.”

“CROWLEY!” The angel admonished him.

“Come on, angel. You know I’m right. They’d give anything to get rid of us.”

“Well, yes. But there’s still no need for such vulgar language!”

“So why would your guys’s bosses want to hurt you? Is it really that bad to be friends?” William asked ever so innocently.

Crowley snorted. “An angel and a demon aren't really supposed to be friends.”

“And I guess an angel and demon aren't supposed to secretly raise the Antichrist, either, are they?” 

The demon narrowed his eyes, he gave the boy a hug. “Don't you sass me!”

William laughed as Crowley gave him a kiss on the cheek. “So that’s the fire part. What about the ‘choose your faces’ part?” 

“That’s the part we need to figure out then isn’t it.”

The silence was a calm one, and if it wasn’t for the looming danger tomorrow would bring, it would have been pleasant. William found himself drifting off when a thought occurred to him, causing him to sit up abruptly, startling his dads.

“What if you switched places?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left... This has been one hell of a story hasnt it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter. I thank you all for your patience while I worked on this, it was a long task and I fought to ensure I did not give up!

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other before looking back at William.

“William, my dear, what do you mean by ‘switch places?’” 

“Like go in each other’s place. Holy water doesn’t hurt angels, does it?” Aziraphale shook his head at the boy. “And hellfire doesn’t hurt demons?”

“No.” Crowley frowned, wondering where William was going with this.

“Why not go in each other’s places.”

It may have been the fact that the day had been far too long, but neither Aziraphale nor Crowley were following his thought process.

“What exactly are you saying?” Crowley asked wearily.

“Change places. You know, like that one movie we went to see a long time ago, where the mom and the daughter kept fighting so they had to change places, the mom was the daughter and the daughter was her mom.”

“My dear, what on earth are you talking about?” Aziraphale tried to keep patient, but even he had his limits.

“I think I understand, angel. I believe our wonderful, brilliant, intelligent, little boy just solved our riddle."

...

William was left alone in Crowley’s flat. His dad’s had thought it would be for the best, as neither of them wanted a repeat of what happened the day before, and to be perfectly honest, neither did he. He wasn’t really sure what he would do to pass the time, but luckily his dad had cable, and apparently had every channel in existence. Even some American channels. But even so, he couldn’t help but think of his parents. 

He had fallen asleep the night before while his dad’s talked about how they would change places, so he didn’t get to watch, but when he woke up that morning, he found Papa had left earlier to pop over to his book shop. Dad had wanted him to know he was heading out, only something was odd about him, rather the way he had bid farewell and walked out the door. It was almost as if he wasn’t used to having long legs... It was just a very subtle difference.

He spent the time mostly exploring the flat, he noted that there were a handful of exotic plants. They were lush and green, and in fantastic health. He noticed there was a irrigation system keeping them watered, and that was really cool. These plants seemed more tropical than the ones back home, though. He recognized most of them; as part of his garden time was also learning about various plants from around the world. 

“Oh dear! One of your leaves has a brown spot.” He said to himself. “That’s not good, we need to take care of that.” Suddenly ALL of the plants around started trembling, which was certainly an odd thing to see. It was as if they all were suddenly terrified of him. William shrugged. Given everything else he’s seen, frightened foliage was a drop in the bucket. He went into the kitchen wondering if there were any scissors.

...

Later on, probably a few hours or so, after William had fixed each plant, ensuring that each one was healthy and green, there was a ringing coming from the other room. It had a opulent throne in the center, in front of the desk. It was dad’s office where he had his showdown yesterday. He found a cellphone on the desk, it looked expensive. The ringing was an alarm. He picked it up, hitting the dismiss button. When the alarm screen went away, there was a message on the phones screen: [When alarm rings, come to St. James’s park, south of Duck Island.] With a link to directions to get there from the flat. He wondered if it meant his dads had finished with their bosses?

William followed the directions to the park in question, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, but nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. He overheard some conversations though, from people wondering about strange weather from yesterday. Something about raining fish near the m25? He didn’t pay attention to them though, he focused on getting to the park and seeing his dads. He headed to where the message had said to go. From a distance he saw them, and he smiled. He raised his hand to call to them, and paused. Did they change spots? He could have sworn they were seated the other way around. He frowned for only a moment, then shook it off. He called to them.

Crowley raised his hand to wave, Aziraphale beamed at the sight of the boy. That was the only other thing on both of their minds when they had been in heaven and hell, was his well being. Thankfully everything went right. William hugged both his dads.

“So what now?” He asked.

“Well, we could go home. What do you think, my dear?” Aziraphale rested a hand on his son’s shoulder. It was funny, before he never really had referred to him as that, originally thinking everything was to be temporary, not really looking past yesterday.

Crowley thought for a moment. “Can I tempt you both to a spot of lunch first?”

Aziraphale beamed, a joyful wiggle running through his body. “Temptation accomplished!”

William beamed. The three of them headed off to a restaurant, one of his choice. His eleventh birthday was certainly a strange one, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. It certainly was the best birthday ever. 

And little did an angel, a demon and their adopted son knew, the day HAD been nice, and for the first time ever, a nightingale actually sung in Berkeley Square.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially my longest fic I think, even longer than my Trollhunters Nomura series. I hope you all enjoyed this, I sure did. Thank you for sticking by, both old and new readers!
> 
> ...
> 
> If I am missing a tag you want added, let me know and I will add it!
> 
> I don't always reply to your comments, but I appreciate every one! Feel free to tell me what you liked, it keeps me motivated to write!!!
> 
> I am always open for fanart, response fics, pod fics and translations! Just please make sure to link to me and send them to me! 
> 
> My twitter and tumblr is sailoryue, my Instagram is supersailoryue. Come see my doodles!

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen many "Ineffable fathers raise the anti-christ au' but I don't think I've seen one where they raise Warlock as their own. So I decided to fix that. Crowley kidnapped the wrong boy from the church, and together they raise him not knowing that he is NOT the anti-Christ until it is far too late.
> 
> I promise i have no plans on abandoning this one, I've got 6000 words written in my wip! I'll update once a week there-abouts until it's fully posted. Please be patient, and please let me know what you think! 
> 
> If i am missing a tag you want added, let me know and i will add it!
> 
> I don't always reply to your comments, but I appreciate every one! Feel free to tell me what you liked, it keeps me motivated to write!!!
> 
> I am always open for fanart, response fics, pod fics and translations! Just please make sure to link to me and send them to me! 
> 
> My twitter and tumblr is sailoryue, my Instagram is supersailoryue. Come see my doodles!�


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